Friday, August 24, 2012

You're My Laser Light.


Maybe I am the happiest woman in the world right now.
Why? Because I've made my own happiness.

I've been mixing these colors, red with yellow, green with blue, purple with white. I painted my own horizon. I didn't find my love in a hopeless place, now I'm standing in the light until it's over. I ran in field, played hide and seek with those grasshoppers, counted stars and ate green apples.

Life, is so much fun without a heavy burden.
I'm trying to look at something without blinking, to see what it is like, or it could have been like, and how that had something to do with the way we live now.
And yeah, you know that.

There is really nothing more to say except why. But since why is difficult to handle, one must take refuge in how. I want to fly free, so I gave up the shit that weighs me down.

I love the brand new me.
I am the music in me.
I am bulletproof, nothing to lose.
 There must be satisfaction at the end.
I'll keep on running with joy for the sake of my own happiness.

Thank you,
I love you!

Thursday, August 23, 2012


My dear Adriara,
I know it hurts to know the truth.
I know you want me to forget.
You know that I still there trap in memories.

You can help me to forget.
You can change my mind.
I will do it for you.
For us.

But remember, Adriara.
You have 100 reasons to leave.
Can you take it?
Can you hold the pain I've been giving you, for me?

If you want to leave,
Then leave.
But tell me.
So I know and I can find someone else.

I need no perfection.
I need nothing.
But all I need is a little time.
A little more time so we can spend our days together.

My dear Adriara,
I am sorry.
Cool my head down,
So I can reach you someday.

Don't give up on me.

Monday, August 20, 2012

Nothing To Fear.

For you,
I let go someone who had been so good to me.
For you,
People label me as a woman who can't be moved.

Go away.
How can I do my life over if you're still here in my head?
How can I forget if you're still in love with me?
Please, go away.

Don't ever look back.
Keep your head up, cry, and move forward.
Let go.
Let me go.

Fill your head with anger.
Let your heart burns with your emotion.
You're just a ghost.
You are nobody.

Sajesha, what are you afraid of?
Rise, Sajesha.
Nothing out there.

Thank you, for being one of those colors in my life.
Now, let me paint my dreams with another color.
Another bright colors,
For a bright new day.

A Headstrong, Obstinate Woman.

"Aira, kenapa dia?"

"Karena dia tidak ada disaat nenekku meninggal. Karena dia tidak ada disaat aku meneteskan air mata. Dia tidak ada disaat aku dibawah nol, dia tidak selalu bisa berada di sampingku disaat aku sangat membutuhkannya."

"Jadi? Tunggu apa lagi? Lupakan dia."

"Tidak bisa. Karena hal itu, dia membuatku kuat dan menjadikan aku perempuan mandiri yang tidak tergantung dengan pasangannya. Disaat aku jatuh, aku tahu, dia kecewa dengan keadaannya, karena cita-citanya yang menghalangi keinginannya untuk menemaniku di saat aku jatuh. Dia sakit, dia merasa bersalah atas itu. Dia berusaha kuat di hadapanku, padahal hatinya menjerit."

"Aira............. Kamu layak mendapatkan seseorang yang lebih baik dan lebih bisa diandalkan dari dia."

"Kupikir, dia sudah cukup walaupun kami berbeda."

"Aira, dia sudah tidak mencintai kamu. Mungkin dia sudah mencintai orang lain."

"Aku tahu itu."

"Aira, sadarlah."

"Devi, aku mencintai dia karena dia telah menjadikan aku wanita yang kuat, ada atau tanpa dia. Dia bisa membuatku bahagia walaupun hubungan kami terbatas jarak."

"Aira, dia seorang penerbang. Apa lagi yang kamu tunggu?"

"Hari, dan waktu. Hari dimana kami bersumpah sebagai suami istri, dan waktu dimana kami menyelesaikan hidup kami, saling memiliki dan mencintai, hingga kami dipisahkan oleh maut."

Monday, August 13, 2012

Too Late To Notice.

"Alyssa, I am sorry. I am terribly sorry. I want to hold you in my arms forever. Dont go away, please, stay with me. I lied, I'm sorry. I've been hiding it, but you know my weakness, you know me so well. Please, dont leave me."

"That easy?"

"No, it's not! Let me fix it, let me fix us, let me fix everything! Just dont go! Give me time, I want you. Please dont leave."

"I dont trust you"

"It was my mistake, I'm sorry! Just dont let go"

"Enough, Levi."

"Alyssa, I love you so much. How lucky I am to have someone that makes saying 'goodbye' so hard..."

"You are not lucky, because I got to keep moving on"


For a moment,
I really want to sing.
A song that represents my new life.
A song that hurts me so much.

Dont ask me to go back to the beginning.
It wont solve anything.
I wont go back.
I dont want to see your colors anymore.

Remember the way we used to be?
Remember the day I ran after you?
Remember the pain you put me through?
Remember the day you chose me to live with you?

And do you remember,
The night I showed up breathless at your bedroom door?
Just to ask how am I hurt?
Just to show you my tears?

You will remember.
Even your brain keeps telling your heart "dont".
You will see that someday,
You will do things you dont want to do.

So dont ask me to come back.
Don't talk to me.
Don't you remember?
You let me go, you asked me to leave.

And I did that for you.