Tuesday, September 10, 2013

I'm Not the One You Want To Lose.

I knew it all along.
I'm the one you want to lose.
But time changes and life goes on.
You're looking back at me now.

Mine is so familiar to you.
Translate my mind,
And look deeper.
What do you find?

We are now breathing together.
Inhaling the same air but in a different room.
You are now breathing my memory,
And I'm watching you slowly appear.

Running away from reality.
Let go off it.
Let your body blends with the wind.
Let your body blends with my colors.

We just started these.
Smile for me now,
And mark my words.
That I'm the one you don't want to lose.


I've been there,
And done that.
I loved them once,
And I looked dead to them.

I've been there and other places.
Where I wasted my tears a lot.
Where I threw my self-esteem up in the air.
Where I gambled for nothing.

That man who died because of drugs,
That crazy man who has been loving me for almost nine years,
That man who has a beautiful daughter,
That man who has been singing for a band,
That man who has been working for national security,
That man who is good at drawing something,
That man who left me for another woman after I gave him everything and accompanied him for years,
That man who has no initiative to ask my condition,
That man who has his own world and does not want to socialize,
That man who has been my best friend,
I loved them.

I still care.
I will not erase them.
My memories of them won't die.
I loved them once and I respect them until now.

It wasn't only their faults.
My faults too.
Why I didn't understand them? Why I can't love them like they did?
Why did I win my ego that day?

Now, you.
Yes, you.
Can you?
Will you?

Do you vow to love me and care for me as long as you can?
Will you accept me with all of my faults and strenghts?
Will you understand what I want and what I need?
Will you accept me to be no other than myself?

I will be your best friend, your brother or your sister and your mother.
I will share you my heart and support you through the good times and the bad.
I will treat you with respect.
I will be a faithful companion for you and I will be patient with you and with myself.

Could you handle me?
Could you handle mine?


Untuk kamu,
Yang hanya dapat kucintai dari jauh.
Aku bukanlah wanita munafik,
Tetapi aku sedang belajar untuk ikhlas.

Untuk kamu,
Yang sedang mendekap wanita pujaanmu.
Aku tidak cemburu padanya.
Aku bahagia kamu bersamanya.

Lebih baik aku kehilangan kamu,
Daripada melihatmu kesakitan bersamaku.
Lebih baik aku melihatmu berbahagia bersama orang lain,
Daripada melihatmu sakit mempertahankan kita.

Kamu tahu perasaanku.
Aku masih sangat merindukanmu walau kamu sedang tidur di dalam pelukanku.
Dan melihatmu berjalan setegap sekarang,
Betapa bahagianya aku melihat jerih payahku dan didikan dulu membuahkan hasil.

Untuk kamu,
Yang menghancurkan hidupku dulu,
Yang menyakitiku dengan perlakuan kasarmu,
Selamat, atas bahagiamu.

Monday, September 2, 2013

Every Little Heart Beat of Mine Is Yours.

I've been running on an empty boulevard for days.
Searching, for nothing.
I couldn't find our memories,
I couldn't find you.

I've been standing in the light for days,
Singing, for someone.
Humming, for something.
Waiting, for nothing.

I keep my mouth shut.
You won't find me here.
I keep my eyes close.
You won't see me there.

I don't understand.
I don't know.
It was you all along.
It's us.

I can see you from here so clearly.
But I won't reveal myself to you.
If you're asking why,
Because I am getting the best of you now.

I will take a good care of you.
I will handle you.
I will love you.
From a distance.