Before I Forget.

I don't like this.

The feeling when you wake up,

And your heart beats faster than it used to.

A feeling, you can't deny.

Why I am here?

Again?

Starring at the memories I have to erase?

Watching you fade away?

Dear Heart,

I am sorry, I failed you once again.

I am sorry, I have to force you to forget.

I am sorry, that you have to work so hard on this, again.

I swear I want to punch the mirror.

I hate to see myself.

Swollen eyes and broken-hearted face,

I am such a fucker, denying everything.

No, I don't blame you for this.

You're right and I am wrong.

You're good and I am bad.

You're strong and I am weak.

I swear that this won't be easy.

It'll take months to let go.

Why?

Because I stop myself to watch the most beautiful dawn in January.

I won't forget what you have taught and told me.

I will remember and I will do it for the sake of my happiness.

My prayer goes to you.

So does the loving arms of mine.

Please,

Don't ever try to reach me.

Stop making me cry, don't make me want to keep you in mine.

I love you, just go.

"Dawn, if only I can have the chance to not to give you up, I would do it for you. If only I can have the chance to scream in front of your face to not give up on me, I would scream and fuck everything. Honestly, I don't care if our surroundings hurt me more than ever. But I should think about you, you're not comfortable with that. If only I could keep you in my arms, I would do it. You said that we're going to go through this together, right? But you're not ready. You're not good in this. Thank you, for your attention. Thank you, for the last awesome three weeks at your place. Thank you, for making changes in me. Thank you, for letting me love you and letting yourself love me. Thank you, for reminding me to pray. Thank you, for telling me stories about life. Thank you, for the broken heart. You'll be good, because you already know how."

Dry your eyes, Lucy. Goodbye and take care.