Maybe It's Supposed To Be This Way.

I remember my Grandfather's face before they buried him. He looked like almost smiling. And I slept beside his cold dead body with swollen eyes...

I remember that day, I just got home and my dad told me that he left us. I ran to my mom and cried, so did she. And the moment when I saw his body being moved out from the ambulance. It suffocated me and believe me, you will never, nor never can, say a single word. I almost fell that moment, but somebody held my arm, I dont remember who is it.

This is my first year, fasting without visiting him in a real life. I went to his grave today, and I realized that, it's been a year since you left us... You used to called Hanif (my brother) 'Boy' and served us with Teh Botol if we came to visit. You used to tell us your story when you spent your whole day hunting, whether it was a deer or a boar. And... Honestly, I love to see your medals and photos in your cupboard. Looks wow for me.

It was hard to not to cry in front of people, Grandpa. My mom cried for you, so did I. And I brought a red rose, hope you like it. Sorry we didnt waste a long time on your grave, ofcourse you dont want to see people cry for you, right?

Dear Grandfather. Rest in peace. And oh, happy fasting :) I miss you.