Saturday, November 4, 2017

Jupiter.


There's a lighthouse I used to know back in my hometown.
Though it can only cast light into the darkness,
But I love that place.
I miss that place.

I went there one day,
And draw a lot of pictures.
I left some drawings,
Then I went home.

It took months until my memories fade.
Even my most precious ones fade surprisingly quickly.
It changed course,
And went nowhere.

My memory is a monster.
I forget, but it doesn't.
It's like, I've been hiding something for years.
I think I have it, but it has me.

I thought I'm an outsider,
By recalling these memories. 
In my personal store of dreams,
Those are an expression that was lost.

I realized,
That someone wants to keep me alive.
He told me to keep on learning,
To make sure that my path is right.

But what if I choose to forget?
What if, Osaka has the most beautiful sunrise?
What if, Hallstatt is no longer a village, but a city?
What if, for now I am winter?

People come and go,
And I don't believe it when they are in love with someone.
Love comes and go,
Feeling changes unexpectedly.

Can I be the reason why the possibility of remembering has been found?
Can I be the reason that you are exist, because I remember you?
Can I erase all that has happened today?
Am I living in the dream?

Anomaly.


I don't know how I could travel through time.
I don't know how I could know what's going on in someone else's mind.
I don't know how to walk away from things I don't love any longer.
I know nothing about it.

If I know how,
It'll come out clearly enough.
I want to rephrase the world in my head,
To make you understand.

Am I trying to disappear?
Do I look like a winner?
Did it hurt?
Moron.

I want to let it out from my system.
I've been avoiding it for years.
Being in touch with the real terribleness of your life,
It's just disgusting.

It's like, I'm reading the same page for a hundred times.
My feelings are fighting,
My mind is falling randomly,
And my hands are shaking.

Honestly,
I don't want to know.
I don't want to know how.
I don't want to know why.

 I know that,
There was no shame in admitting that I didn't have the answer.
Guess it'll be fine.
I will let go.

There will be turbulence,
And memories will keep me alive.
There will be time,
And you will understand the way I think about everything.

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Aragón, Are You Listening?


Hey, you,
I've been watching you.
I've been listening to the sound of your heart,
It changed.

Don't just sit there and wonder,
What the hell are you looking for?
This is yours to play,
Not mine to touch.

Don't scream in silence like that.
I hear you.
All you gotta do is ask,
And I will help you.

You have nowhere to run.
I knew it.
You want to hide your face.
Oh, I knew it.

Come to me,
Come with me,
You don't need to hold my hand,
Just look at me.

I know you have a lot of questions.
Ask me everything. 
Don't hold anything back.
I'm here.

Now, think.
If you think it's right, go for it.
Now,
What you do you want?

Sunday, October 22, 2017

Cosmos.

Here I am,
Wandering,
Shaking,
Flying above and beyond.

I know you'll stay.
I know you'll never leave.
But it hurts me,
To think that we only have forever here and now.

It has been years,
When you laid your eyes on me,
When you said that I am the love you need,
The one who got away.

But no,
I'm here for him.
And no, it doesn't mean that I'm going to leave you.
I don't want you to go.

It's just,
This boy is special.
He's always looking at something beyond me.
He can never see me.

So why are you here, you asked.
I'm here to help him,
To help you,
To love you.

You come with me, you said.
I know I don't know where I want to go.
My legs can't carry me somewhere I want to be.
But my eyes keep moving, through the distance.

The sky is clear,
I can see the moon from here.
I can see you,
I can see us.

Maybe I should leave.
Maybe I should walk to the far end of my mind.
Maybe I need some time,
Maybe I don't need one.

No, I can't remember when I fell in love with you naturally.
It's delusional.
But I will carve my name in your veins,
And live a trace of myself behind this world.

Saturday, October 21, 2017

Laguna.

Crystal clear water,
In the woods,
The heart only needs one,
Peace.

This is where life lives and breathes.
My reflection shows it all,
The pain,
The anger.

I have the key.
I locked myself out of everything.
Swollen eyes, tiny fractures,
My heart is bruised.

I spent too much on other things.
I didn't pay attention,
I can't see where it went wrong,
It wasn't based on an expectation I had of others.

The wind blows,
It's not a symbol for emotions.
It's an inevitable,
When our hearts that have never met before come into collision.

I'm here,
Drowned in still waters,
In silence,
Still beating, still fighting.

Saturday, September 9, 2017

Don't Fall in Love with Me.


I love to stay up late at night.
I love to watch the clouds move in silence.
I love to feel the summer air.
I love feel the ocean breeze.

I love to sing in the middle of the night.
I believe that when I die,
I will turn into a song,
That people will hear and remember.

I love to blend with nature.
I breathe with them,
I sleep with them.
I share my life with them.

I love people.
I love to listen to their stories.
See them cry, laugh,
And walk with them.

I love animals.
I represent them,
I am their voice,
Because animals are a gentle living beings.

I am a dreamer.
I know so little of real life.
I love to live in my dreams,
Because it won't fail me.

So don't fall in love with me.
I don't have what you want,
I don't have time,
I won't think about you.

Just don't fall in love with me.
I won't tell you what the word "home" means to me.
I won't tell you about every person I've ever been in love with.
I won't tell you the first time I felt the weight of hate.

I don't know if anger is a sincere emotion,
Or just a fragile heart trying to scream.
I don't want to know what will happen next,
And I don't want to know whether it is wrong or right.

Fall in love with someone else.
My heart belongs to the sky, to the sea.
My mind belongs to those bodies that have lost their lives and minds.
I belong to me, so are you.

XO.

Him
01:12, Bergen, Norway

She's weak.
Very weak.
I want to help her.
Oh please, just let me be.

She wanted this world to still.
She wanted to be fixed within it.
But everything was on the move,
The clouds, the wind, and people.

I love it when she sings,
When she looks to the sky and smiles,
When she plays her favorite guitar,
She's just something.

But I can't see her sadness.
I can't stand it.
Something's disappear,
And she lost everything.

She's afraid.
I can see it.
Her eyes show everything.
Her fear, her future.

That's how it is.
No matter how hard I try,
I'm not going to be able to control my feelings for her.
I can't help loving her.

She makes me fall in love with her,
In just one glance,
In one second,
She changed my perspective.

I want to help her.
I want to glue those fractures back together.
I want to make her stronger.
I want her to forget.

Sadino,
I know I can't promise you things,
But keep my words,
That I will try to fix you.

Monday, September 4, 2017

Your Name.


I wish I could forget everything.
I wish I could go far away from here.
I wish I could erase everything.
Yes, I'm wishing for something that would never happen.

I wish I could forget your name.
A name, which show me a fond collection of some lovely places,
A name that I won't throw around lightheartedly,
A name that I won't repeat without deep thought.

Somehow, your name becomes sacred to my lips.
No, it's forbidden.
And if I ever speak of you,
Then it's just my subconscious.

Let me find a room to settle.
Let me find a hollow places to root.
Things happened, so precious and strange,
And I wouldn't remember it even in my dreams.

I wouldn't recall it after either.
Every stitch, every touch, every glance,
I'll bury them,
And never wake them up.

Give me time to fix my broken strings.
Now, listen to me.
You are nameless,
And be happy for it.

Saturday, August 26, 2017

The Paradox.


Been wandering alone for days,
Searching for something,
Alone,
And crying out for companionship that never comes.

We might have been thinking about it the wrong way.
You know what?
This beauty hides a lethal weapon,
Not to kill, but to survive.

Paper planes and white flags,
Are we going down?
The sea is no longer my shelter,
It holds memories we can't replace.

Such a view,
The bright side of the moon.
Should I live there?
I'll ask you later.

My mind has a speed limit,
No, you can't change it.
You're the one who left, right?
That was great, that kind of magic.

My vision is doomed.
But I have another system,
In fact that I am not even sure if it will come to a firm,
Or defined end.

Fuck you.
Let me in.
I am your anger.
I am yours.

Saturday, July 29, 2017

Anchor.

We're not supposed to be here.
I'm not the one holding you hostage.
We're not supposed to know each other,
We're not supposed to be lovers.

I'm a wounded woman.
Oh, you don't have to know.
Can you hear my fake heartbeat?
I'm sure you don't.

Picture a person you have forgotten.
How did you do that?
It was miserable, isn't it?
But you had to.

I lost my feeling,
Between the stars,
Behind those bars,
Alone, and not ready.

Maybe we said some things we couldn't handle.
Maybe we were right.
Maybe our tears came along the way.
Maybe we fell into a life of leisure.

We'll run.
When we try to reconnect,
When we stand there a little longer,
When we learn to fear each other.

Tuesday, June 6, 2017

Be Still with Me.


I will never be the same person, again.
I will never look at you that way,
I will never turn back time,
And I will never hold you like I always used to.

I should have realized,
Once I lose someone,
It's never exactly the same person who comes back.
It's just the shadow.

I lost someone,
I bet you did.
It was terrible, wasn't it?
It hurts, until now.

And this person won't come back.
He will never come back.
He will never sleep in my arms again,
He will never look at me the way he did back then.

I've tried, believe me.
It's just, things changed so fast,
And I couldn't keep up with it.
I couldn't reach him who walks beyond the clouds.

He keeps running,
Faster, away from me.
I cannot see him,
His colors are fading away.

I'm a human.
My feeling is untamed.
My dreams are broken, falling into pieces,
And our time is running out.

I'm sorry.
I am so sorry, Guadalajara.
I wish I could have more time.
I wish I could treat you better.

Inside my head,
In my endless thought,
I see you, walking hand in hand with me,
And then you left.

Maybe you're right.
Following your ego is the only option.
You said you don't know what you really want,
And you're trying to find out, and that's good.

I've been sleeping for three years,
And now I'm up,
Searching for something priceless,
That I thought it was you.

I will grieve this moment forever.
In sickness, in health,
I will miss you,
Like I always do.

If you're not ready to move out from our imagination,
My arms are here, wide open, for you.
If you come to me, years after this,
 I hope I could smile and said,

"Be still with me."

Friday, May 26, 2017

Fractures.


She expected the pain, when it came.
But it was not like she had felt before.
She smiled,
And the pain became warmth.

She let it live,
The pain, inside her body.
She made it light,
Very light.

Then,
Her blood stops running.
But she managed to shut the lid tight,
She was okay.

She brings life to eternity.
She's running full of speed at it.
But she's desperate for a change,
She's screaming in silence for what she wants.

She's young enough to break.
To kill, to burn.
But she stands tall,
No one can beat her.

She's alive and he knows it.
She's not happy, and he knows it.
He gave him sorrow, and she's fine with it.
She's unbreakable, yet unbelievable.

Thursday, May 25, 2017

Luna.

On a hill, behind her house,
Luna sits alone.
"They took him away," she said to herself.
"Forever."

She saw everything.
That was a bloody moment,
A scary moment,
That she'll never forget.

In this world full of trouble,
Where the madness won’t stop,
She's begging for mercy,
While holding her hands.

"No...," she whispered.
"Come back to me."
But nothing changed.
She's alone.

One day,
When she took a walk with an angel,
She asked, "Is life worth living when you need to get by?"
"I’m still lonely."

He smiled to her,
And stroked her hair.
"You are brave," he said.
"Brave enough to ask."

He took a step toward her,
Closing the space between them.
"You have to let me go," he said.
"If you don't do it now, you never will."

Everyone had a forever,
But given a choice.
With teary eyes, he whispered,
"I'll be the one to look away first."

"You've already made me cry countless times," Luna said to herself.
"And do you know what this is?"
Luna wipes her tears, hoping for a path to follow him there.
"It's me, wiping away the last tear you'll ever get."

Friday, May 12, 2017

Woman of the Apocalypse.


I'm closing the last curtain,
For you, for us,
This what we came for,
This is what we saw.

Pain is playing on repeat,
Anger, fire, and gold,
Combined and sold,
For your words and ignorance.

Hold it,
Take it away,
Away with you,
To the sky, into the light.

It should be different.
It sets us free from the illusion.
Because our desires are always changing.
Because they are often conflicting.

This is not a war.
It's essential,
Invisible to the eye,
My identity.

So what?
Maybe Luna had it right.
What and how much had I lost?
Tell me.

Don't be a small sandstorm that keeps changing directions.
You have to know what you stand for,
Or you will suffer.
Yes, you must not be defeated.

Sunday, May 7, 2017

Titan.

We're on the edge of destruction.
We were isolated,
No lights, no air,
But hope.

Yes, there is hope.
There was.
Depends on what you think,
Our connection.

Back to a time when we were infinite.
I didn't have time to tell you what I had just now realized,
I forgave you,
To survive in the labyrinth.

Now, I have to live with things left undone that day.
Things that didn't go right,
Things that seemed okay at the time because we could not see the future.
It was real.

If only I could see the endless string of consequences,
I would see your thoughts in those last minutes.
I would leave you on purpose.
I wouldn't turn back the time.

I was punishing you over and over for things that are out of your control.
Then, a fully loaded weapon showed.
I wanted to know you, I wanted you to let me in.
I didn't know you.

Now I know,
That place terrifies me.
I don't want to go back to that place.
Never.

But,
These words in my head,
Those promises,
How could I forget that?

Would that I could join you,
But this moment will have to be enough.
Look to the distance,
I am there.

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

So Long, Gavrielle.


There were times over the years when life wasn't easy.
A day full of dread,
Love lost, fifty hours of tears and torture,
It happened.

I looked up to the sky one day,
I was trying to find my home,
Afraid, and standing still,
For you my home in the light.

I was wrong, so wrong.
I lost you.
I lost my feeling.
Everything.

I can't find you.
Where are you?
You were there,
What happened?

Now I know.
Perception and reality are two different things.
Sometimes you need things rather than just thoughts.
Yes, I understand that.

And these things,
That keep you alive on the departure want you to praise them.
They're looking at you,
With hope.

I'm going to rescue them,
They want me to change them completely.
Through my invisible heart,
Through the darkness of my mind.

I'm sorry.
Maybe we're no good to each other.
Too many dreams we have lost.
Too many blood we have shed.

Don't worry,
I won't blame you.
Find another light,
I'll find mine.

I'm going home,
To the place I used to be.
Enjoy the dark, Gavrielle.
I'll meet you in another chapter.