Tuesday, May 8, 2018

In Dreams.

I met you once,
And I fell too deep.
I touched you once,
And it was painful.

I never thought that,
Someone like you could ruin my mind.
I never thought that,
Someone like you could wreck my perceptions.

I can't quit you,
I don't know why.
Been thinking about you since then,
And it hurts.

I know you're just joking around,
Making people laugh.
I know it won't happen that fast.
The hell is wrong with me then?

I like you.
I like you that much.
It's like, my mind is fucked.
Damn it, damn you.

Don't worry,
I'm just playing around.
I won't be there either.
I won't fall again for the second time.

I impressed you, didn't I?
Worry not,
We live in a different world.
I won't run to you.

Thursday, March 1, 2018

Last Tears of the Wolf.


I've been counting since forever,
Talking nonsense,
Thinking out loud,
Killing time.

Something is reverberating,
Through my muscular organs,
Through my veins,
In a blink of an eye.

He's there,
From the beginning of time until now,
He's been howling, crying, and running with the wolves,
Trying to find a way to the dark side of the moon.

He doesn't know how to explain something that no one can't see.
He doesn't know how to not to kill people.
He lives alone.
But, he knows how to love someone sincerely.

It's frustrating, and he knows it.
He lives by his sword, the mighty Muramasha.
Blood falls down so fast from his forehead,
But still, he doesn't feel a thing.

Listen,
It's his favorite love song,
A soft and serene song,
A gentle melody.

I won't let him go.
I won't let him walk alone.
Hijikata Toshirou,
Let's be lonely together.

Saturday, February 17, 2018

Five Minutes to 4 AM.


It was blissful.
We had a great conversation,
Until midnight,
Until dawn.

It was peaceful,
Reminiscing our youth,
Remembering the good old days,
The process of discovering.

Green and blue were the colors,
You were happy,
Smiling from ear to ear,
While the world broke your heart in two.

Surprisingly,
You found the other half of your broken heart.
You asked for help,
And I'm the one you chose.

Twenty notebooks,
And you couldn't rid any of them.
Years and years,
And you stayed the same.

Things are easily taken away from you.
But you kept your heart behind the door.
Your body is a moving vessel,
A sacred one, and scared.

Don't worry,
I'm working on this.
One day,
I will walk away.

You were right.
I can't do anything alone.
Flaws and imperfections,
Drive me to work harder.

I won't wait.
But I'll keep my eyes open.
I won't be blinded by the rays of a new day,
No matter how dark the night ahead may be.

Monday, February 12, 2018

Goodbye, London.


He left that morning.
I hope he left with no regret,
I hope he'll find what he's been looking for.
Because there is no turning back.

His last words still echoing in my head,
"Don't hurt yourself like I did," he said.
But this is the price we pay,
This is what we came for.

Minds like ours cannot be tamed,
And I wonder how long this will last.
Your colors are getting darker,
I was blinded, I was too far away.

Maybe I'm in love.
Too in love,
But too weak to carry on,
Too selfish to face the reality.

London is a lovely guy.
He never asked for more,
He never asked for love.
He loves me for who I am, and it's hard.

I got your messages.
I listened to it for hours,
Pain on pain on play repeating,
The burden gets too heavy.

I had hidden a lot of things inside.
I never dared to show them.
In silence, I tried to kill them,
But the heart wants what it wants.

My dear London,
I'm writing a letter I will never dare to send.
Touch my swollen eyes,
You can read me, go ahead.

London,
Come back to me.
We could have been so glorious.
I miss you already.

Sunday, January 14, 2018

London.

There's this boy,
So pure, so gentle,
A boy named London,
A happy boy, a lovely boy.

London is so beautiful.
I would hold him close for days.
We hold hands and cherish the moment.
We are forever.

Oh yes, we drink too much.
We smoke too much, stay up too late, laugh a lot.
We talk too much,
But we hate too often.

We drive too fast.
We look up to each other,
We spend more,
But enjoy less.

We've been all the way to the moon and back.
We have trouble crossing the good side of our minds.
We conquered outer space, not inner space,
And we've done larger things, but not better things.

There are so my things I want to say to you, my dear London.
But I can't.
I just can't.
I'm sorry.

One night,
You looked at me,
And wished that I could say anything about us.
But I refused.

A few days ago,
You gave me that look.
Still, I refused to say a word.
I'm really sorry.

London,
I just want to spend some time with you.
You're not going to be around forever,
You'll leave.

Now, start counting.
How many misunderstandings we have passed?
How many love we have shared?
How eager you are to kill me?

All I could say is,
There is nowhere else.
I'm there, in your veins, in your blood,
I become every part of you.

The most painful thing is,
Someone calls,
He said he needs your blood,
Then you go for a blood transfusion procedure.

"What's mine is mine,"
I know your answer,
And I can't reply it.
I can't hold it any longer.

London, listen to me.
Thank you for being honest.
Stay true to your principles.
Live passionately, fully, and well.

It's time for you to experience new things.
I won't wait, but I'll be there.
I won't leave you.
Love and be loved, if you have that chance.

Monday, January 1, 2018

Miracle Aligner.


He's that kinda guy who doesn't want to make eye contact.
An introvert one, but not a loner.
A leader, a true story teller,
And his name is Miracle Aligner.

And there's this girl,
A quirky one, a lighthearted person,
She sees the world from a different perspective,
And her name is Tiger.

Miracle Aligner could get anything he needs.
Miracle Aligner has a strong vision about himself.
No, Tiger is not jealous.
It's just, she has so many questions in her head.

Miracle Aligner wasn't born to blow her mind.
Miracle Aligner won't make her dream come true.
Miracle Aligner is a wolf, he lives in the woods.
He's a hunter, and sometimes be hunted.

"A black wolf," she said. "Is a vulnerable wolf." 
Silent and starving,
Miracle Aligner chose his own path,
But still, he doesn't know what he wants.

And he doesn't know what to do either.
In search of happy days he knows he'll never find,
He stays in his comfort zone for too long,
And he wonders, if some part of him knew about it.

Come on,
His name is Miracle Aligner.
The great enemy of freedom is the alignment of what you've been thinking and worrying.
It could destroy your beliefs.

Let your existence be your book.
This is not about your identity,
But for the love inside your soul,
And for the eternity of a miracle, just like your name.

Saturday, December 16, 2017

Eloquence.

So intense,
The way you make me feel,
The way my heart breaks into pieces,
The love you took away, the way I mourn.

I'm confuse.
Should I say something?
Is this what I've been waiting for?
The hesitations, the lack of time?

My heart beats faster than before,
I become awkward,
Questioning everything,
Did I make a right choice?

We need to go.
To the place where you dreamed of me before,
We'll follow voices,
We'll go back to each other.

Listen,
The sky is humming,
And it's your favorite song,
That soon will be mine.

I won't ask you to change.
I won't ask you to run away.
Just give me a clue,
And I'll determine it for you.

Youth.

Maybe you don't believe.
Maybe you won't believe.
But it's real,
And I'm waiting.

You're in love,
Then you are the lucky one.
Because most of us are bitter over someone,
And I am one of them.

Maybe,
I live only to realize that reality will kill me before I get there.
The heartbreaks from fallen relationships,
Strips away my romance, my love,
My hope, my trust. 

It's cheesy,
But it's true.
You still have room for emotions,
You have her, you have him.

It's a reckless living,
And it's far more dangerous than you ever realize.
I only have one life, one body,
And I should take a good care of it.

You're breaking me.
You broke my chest once,
You held my hand once,
What do I have to regret?

This is us,
Our minds, our hearts,
Common sense and all,
Flickering, trembling.

"I need you," you said.
"I need you," I replied.
Give us help.
Give us another chance.

Saturday, November 4, 2017

Jupiter.


There's a lighthouse I used to know back in my hometown.
Though it can only cast light into the darkness,
But I love that place.
I miss that place.

I went there one day,
And draw a lot of pictures.
I left some drawings,
Then I went home.

It took months until my memories fade.
Even my most precious ones fade surprisingly quickly.
It changed course,
And went nowhere.

My memory is a monster.
I forget, but it doesn't.
It's like, I've been hiding something for years.
I think I have it, but it has me.

I thought I'm an outsider,
By recalling these memories. 
In my personal store of dreams,
Those are an expression that was lost.

I realized,
That someone wants to keep me alive.
He told me to keep on learning,
To make sure that my path is right.

But what if I choose to forget?
What if, Osaka has the most beautiful sunrise?
What if, Hallstatt is no longer a village, but a city?
What if, for now I am winter?

People come and go,
And I don't believe it when they are in love with someone.
Love comes and go,
Feeling changes unexpectedly.

Can I be the reason why the possibility of remembering has been found?
Can I be the reason that you are exist, because I remember you?
Can I erase all that has happened today?
Am I living in the dream?

Anomaly.


I don't know how I could travel through time.
I don't know how I could know what's going on in someone else's mind.
I don't know how to walk away from things I don't love any longer.
I know nothing about it.

If I know how,
It'll come out clearly enough.
I want to rephrase the world in my head,
To make you understand.

Am I trying to disappear?
Do I look like a winner?
Did it hurt?
Moron.

I want to let it out from my system.
I've been avoiding it for years.
Being in touch with the real terribleness of your life,
It's just disgusting.

It's like, I'm reading the same page for a hundred times.
My feelings are fighting,
My mind is falling randomly,
And my hands are shaking.

Honestly,
I don't want to know.
I don't want to know how.
I don't want to know why.

 I know that,
There was no shame in admitting that I didn't have the answer.
Guess it'll be fine.
I will let go.

There will be turbulence,
And memories will keep me alive.
There will be time,
And you will understand the way I think about everything.

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Aragón, Are You Listening?


Hey, you,
I've been watching you.
I've been listening to the sound of your heart,
It changed.

Don't just sit there and wonder,
What the hell are you looking for?
This is yours to play,
Not mine to touch.

Don't scream in silence like that.
I hear you.
All you gotta do is ask,
And I will help you.

You have nowhere to run.
I knew it.
You want to hide your face.
Oh, I knew it.

Come to me,
Come with me,
You don't need to hold my hand,
Just look at me.

I know you have a lot of questions.
Ask me everything. 
Don't hold anything back.
I'm here.

Now, think.
If you think it's right, go for it.
Now,
What you do you want?

Sunday, October 22, 2017

Cosmos.

Here I am,
Wandering,
Shaking,
Flying above and beyond.

I know you'll stay.
I know you'll never leave.
But it hurts me,
To think that we only have forever here and now.

It has been years,
When you laid your eyes on me,
When you said that I am the love you need,
The one who got away.

But no,
I'm here for him.
And no, it doesn't mean that I'm going to leave you.
I don't want you to go.

It's just,
This boy is special.
He's always looking at something beyond me.
He can never see me.

So why are you here, you asked.
I'm here to help him,
To help you,
To love you.

You come with me, you said.
I know I don't know where I want to go.
My legs can't carry me somewhere I want to be.
But my eyes keep moving, through the distance.

The sky is clear,
I can see the moon from here.
I can see you,
I can see us.

Maybe I should leave.
Maybe I should walk to the far end of my mind.
Maybe I need some time,
Maybe I don't need one.

No, I can't remember when I fell in love with you naturally.
It's delusional.
But I will carve my name in your veins,
And live a trace of myself behind this world.

Saturday, October 21, 2017

Laguna.

Crystal clear water,
In the woods,
The heart only needs one,
Peace.

This is where life lives and breathes.
My reflection shows it all,
The pain,
The anger.

I have the key.
I locked myself out of everything.
Swollen eyes, tiny fractures,
My heart is bruised.

I spent too much on other things.
I didn't pay attention,
I can't see where it went wrong,
It wasn't based on an expectation I had of others.

The wind blows,
It's not a symbol for emotions.
It's an inevitable,
When our hearts that have never met before come into collision.

I'm here,
Drowned in still waters,
In silence,
Still beating, still fighting.

Saturday, September 9, 2017

Don't Fall in Love with Me.


I love to stay up late at night.
I love to watch the clouds move in silence.
I love to feel the summer air.
I love feel the ocean breeze.

I love to sing in the middle of the night.
I believe that when I die,
I will turn into a song,
That people will hear and remember.

I love to blend with nature.
I breathe with them,
I sleep with them.
I share my life with them.

I love people.
I love to listen to their stories.
See them cry, laugh,
And walk with them.

I love animals.
I represent them,
I am their voice,
Because animals are a gentle living beings.

I am a dreamer.
I know so little of real life.
I love to live in my dreams,
Because it won't fail me.

So don't fall in love with me.
I don't have what you want,
I don't have time,
I won't think about you.

Just don't fall in love with me.
I won't tell you what the word "home" means to me.
I won't tell you about every person I've ever been in love with.
I won't tell you the first time I felt the weight of hate.

I don't know if anger is a sincere emotion,
Or just a fragile heart trying to scream.
I don't want to know what will happen next,
And I don't want to know whether it is wrong or right.

Fall in love with someone else.
My heart belongs to the sky, to the sea.
My mind belongs to those bodies that have lost their lives and minds.
I belong to me, so are you.

XO.

Him
01:12, Bergen, Norway

She's weak.
Very weak.
I want to help her.
Oh please, just let me be.

She wanted this world to still.
She wanted to be fixed within it.
But everything was on the move,
The clouds, the wind, and people.

I love it when she sings,
When she looks to the sky and smiles,
When she plays her favorite guitar,
She's just something.

But I can't see her sadness.
I can't stand it.
Something's disappear,
And she lost everything.

She's afraid.
I can see it.
Her eyes show everything.
Her fear, her future.

That's how it is.
No matter how hard I try,
I'm not going to be able to control my feelings for her.
I can't help loving her.

She makes me fall in love with her,
In just one glance,
In one second,
She changed my perspective.

I want to help her.
I want to glue those fractures back together.
I want to make her stronger.
I want her to forget.

Sadino,
I know I can't promise you things,
But keep my words,
That I will try to fix you.

Monday, September 4, 2017

Your Name.


I wish I could forget everything.
I wish I could go far away from here.
I wish I could erase everything.
Yes, I'm wishing for something that would never happen.

I wish I could forget your name.
A name, which show me a fond collection of some lovely places,
A name that I won't throw around lightheartedly,
A name that I won't repeat without deep thought.

Somehow, your name becomes sacred to my lips.
No, it's forbidden.
And if I ever speak of you,
Then it's just my subconscious.

Let me find a room to settle.
Let me find a hollow places to root.
Things happened, so precious and strange,
And I wouldn't remember it even in my dreams.

I wouldn't recall it after either.
Every stitch, every touch, every glance,
I'll bury them,
And never wake them up.

Give me time to fix my broken strings.
Now, listen to me.
You are nameless,
And be happy for it.