Dear Bruno, I Found Myself Seeking Any Excuse. Yeah, I Feel More Restricted Today.

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Until this moment, I never understood how hard it was to lose something you never had.

I hate these feelings. I hate myself. Well..... Fyi, this is not an emo poem or diary or what.. Only the sound of my shallow heart, because it has been screaming for a long time. Let's end this shit.

Bruno, whoever you are, wherever you are, I'm sick. This situation kills me. My eyes cant take it anymore. I dont have the strenght for this. Too hard for me, my baby will leave the town, and I'm still counting down the days, though I hurt.

What? I should get used to the situation? Yes, you're right. 100 percent right. But it's not easy, the situation makes me weak everytime I take a peek to my calendar. If you say that I dont have to fuckin see the calendar, you wrong. What day is today? Saturday? Oh and I go to college, starts on Monday. MONDAY. He'll go on Saturday, I give a damn.

What? I'm overreacting? Hey, my suggestions are stronger than you know, yea and it kills me. It buzzes my head every minute, even when I'm not thinking about him. I am too afraid, everything will change as he goes away.

What? He'll comeback? Ofcourse he will. Just the matter of a time. But what about my first week walking without him by my side? Can I? I'm afraid I'll be shock like hell, he used to touch me, hug me and pick me up, and what now? Once again, I give a damn! And yes, I'm overreacting.

What? Just be patient? I'm a patient of patience. I know, patience is a virtue, or I'm a victim of a virtue? Well, my baby used to tell me that I have to do something patiently, and I did. And I hope it works, forever. I will wait. Mark that.

Yes, Bruno. I am wrong. I could have made him feel bad.. Now, I made him feel bad. His heart heavy. I shouldnt do this, I shouldnt say this. But it makes me feel better to let it all out. But still, it doesnt make me stronger. My weakness caused me pain. I'm a fool. I understand. And again, I give a damn.

Yes, Bruno. Smile. Thought my heart is aching, eventhough it's breaking. Love that song by the way. I will smile to make him feel ok, I will laugh, to make him feel happy. Yes, Bruno. I should go to sleep. Goodnight.