Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Hey Yo Bruno, I Think My Thoughts Profoundly Calming My Emotions.

Bruno, thankyou. Well, I'm feeling a lot better now. I dont know if it's just a temporary feeling or what but.... I've been trying to make it comes out positively. And, at the moment, it works.

My friends told me that, a lot of girls are waiting their babies too. They survived, so why cant I survive while they can? I am a strong girl, I am not that weak. I told my baby that words, and he said "That's a good motivation" well, good motivation always comes from something around us, and for me, good motivation comes from him :)

I guess I dont have to fooling myself around with this problem, it'll make me look uncool. Better think in a positive way so everything goes good, for me and him.

Well Bruno, I really love this boy. My arms will miss him more than they know. I'm going to make it all ok, or maybe, I'm going to make it looks ok. Nevermind. No, I dont give a damn by the way.

It's 2:15 am. Gosh, I thought it's still 12:30 am! Should sleep now, thanks Bruno. For being a great imaginary friend. Thankyou. Visit me sometimes.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Dear Bruno, I Found Myself Seeking Any Excuse. Yeah, I Feel More Restricted Today.

Until this moment, I never understood how hard it was to lose something you never had.

I hate these feelings. I hate myself. Well..... Fyi, this is not an emo poem or diary or what.. Only the sound of my shallow heart, because it has been screaming for a long time. Let's end this shit.

Bruno, whoever you are, wherever you are, I'm sick. This situation kills me. My eyes cant take it anymore. I dont have the strenght for this. Too hard for me, my baby will leave the town, and I'm still counting down the days, though I hurt.

What? I should get used to the situation? Yes, you're right. 100 percent right. But it's not easy, the situation makes me weak everytime I take a peek to my calendar. If you say that I dont have to fuckin see the calendar, you wrong. What day is today? Saturday? Oh and I go to college, starts on Monday. MONDAY. He'll go on Saturday, I give a damn.

What? I'm overreacting? Hey, my suggestions are stronger than you know, yea and it kills me. It buzzes my head every minute, even when I'm not thinking about him. I am too afraid, everything will change as he goes away.

What? He'll comeback? Ofcourse he will. Just the matter of a time. But what about my first week walking without him by my side? Can I? I'm afraid I'll be shock like hell, he used to touch me, hug me and pick me up, and what now? Once again, I give a damn! And yes, I'm overreacting.

What? Just be patient? I'm a patient of patience. I know, patience is a virtue, or I'm a victim of a virtue? Well, my baby used to tell me that I have to do something patiently, and I did. And I hope it works, forever. I will wait. Mark that.

Yes, Bruno. I am wrong. I could have made him feel bad.. Now, I made him feel bad. His heart heavy. I shouldnt do this, I shouldnt say this. But it makes me feel better to let it all out. But still, it doesnt make me stronger. My weakness caused me pain. I'm a fool. I understand. And again, I give a damn.

Yes, Bruno. Smile. Thought my heart is aching, eventhough it's breaking. Love that song by the way. I will smile to make him feel ok, I will laugh, to make him feel happy. Yes, Bruno. I should go to sleep. Goodnight.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

I Guess Love Wouldn't Let Me.


Aku hanya terlalu takut jauh dari kamu.

Saturday, November 20, 2010


Good midnight, my baby beluga.

Today was not good. I cried today but I laugh so hard too today.
My baby beluga, I'm upset with everything around me now. It's like, life's unfair, for a moment.

My mind rewinded a bad memories and it hurted everytime it comes.

And Dont Ever Lie To Me, My Baby Beluga.

My baby beluga, I guess the rain would fall for a couple minutes. Let me hear you singing in the rain, let it out, let your emotions out.

No, dont cry, my baby beluga. I will never hurt you, I will never leave you. Come closer, baby beluga. Let me fix you.

I would hold you tight, my baby beluga. I would live with you underwater. I would die with you in the sea. I would sing with you every night. I would cry with you if you cant hold it anymore. I would make you feel so warm in this cold sea. You're mine, baby beluga. Just dont let go.

She Did.

Honestly, I dont know how to start this but.... Let my brain and hands do the writing.
You're just too good to be true. You're a good person. A very good man. You love me, and I love you. But why? You're so hard to reach?

I know you'll confuse. Why you're so hard to reach. Differences knock me down. We have, like, thousand dreams to reach and to share, but still, our dreams cant answer any of my questions. You're too far to reach, baby.