Monday, April 30, 2012

What A Stupid Love Song.

Dont, ever make me remember everything.
I dont want to remember.
I dont want to think about it.
I dont want to see your face.

You, me, us.
We lost it all.
I buried them deep inside my heart.
Dont try to make them come alive.

I live to love my life.
My new day has come.
The one has come.
And he asked me to join his life.

A cup of hot tea and my favorite cookie.
I close my eyes.
Try to keep on walking nowhere.
Until I find a place to let you go.

You lost me.
And I lost you.
Time will heal.
And we will forget.

Thank you.
For being such a wonderful person.
Now I have to go.
To build a new home with him.

Monday, April 23, 2012

You're the Wind In My Neverland.

Remembering the day you asked me.
Near the swimming pool, in the afternoon.
It was a sunny day.
And we were smiling.

First time I met you,
You were just a normal boy with black t-shirt and skinny jeans.
Piercings and that long black hair...
And your smile that made me fall in love with you.

I wasn't afraid to love you.
But I was afraid if I care too much.
Because you were the one I've been looking for.
You were the one who stabbed my heart.

I am going nowhere now.
I dont want to look at you.
I dont want to see your eyes.
Those loving eyes and those loving tears of you make my heart torns in two.

I dont need your hands.
You wont need mine either.
Keep holding on.
Because I wont be there.

God made you to protect me.
And God made me to make you realize.
That I am one of a kind you've wasted.
So you know how hurt it was when you did that to me.

You're no longer a soldier.
You're just a normal boy I knew from the first time we met.
You are you.
A man, who cant be moved.

And now I'm walking away from you.
I dont need to look back.
But I will ask you,
"You want to come and walk with me, or walk away from me?"

Saturday, April 21, 2012

My Own Jar of Heart.

Remember the day you said something to me?
That you will marry me?
You will carry me with your life?
We will have three kids?

I know it wasn't a joke.
I was just a dream.
A dream our heart made.
And now it's just words.

I always believe in you.
I know you're a good man.
You have a good heart.
And I know you know what you're doing.

I dont blame you for this.
All of these.
You have your own decision.
So do I.

I respect you.
I loved you.
No, I will always love you.
But in a different way.

I am so proud of you.
And I am proud to had someone like you.
I am proud of what you have done to yourself and to me.
And I am proud I have lived with you for almost 2 years.

And when the next person comes to me after this.
And when he asked me the same question like you asked.
I will say yes.
Because I will find, someone like you.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

I Will Learn To Live Half Alive.

"Suatu saat nanti, aku akan melupakan kamu. Aku akan keluar dari hidupmu, begitu juga kamu. Aku akan menutup hatiku untuk kamu, kamu tidak akan tinggal disana lagi. Aku akan hapus semuanya, aku akan relakan semuanya. Aku akan membakar habis semuanya, aku akan menghancurkan semua ingatan tentang kamu yang aku ingat. Aku terlalu mencintai kamu. Mencintai dan melupakanmu memakan waktu seumur hidup. Aku akan berdiri tanpa kamu, aku akan mencintai orang lain setelah kamu, aku tidak akan mencintaimu lagi. Aku akan menghapus semua jejakmu. Aku akan pergi, dari kamu. Selamanya."

"Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you. The one who turns to his friends and says, That's her."

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Stars In Still Waters.

Aku tidak meminta untuk mengingat.
Aku hanya menulis, dan meluapkan perasaan disini.

Kita pernah bernafas bersama.
Jantung kita pernah berdenyut bersama.
Mata melihat mata, tangan menggenggam tangan.
Senyum dan air mata, jadi satu.

Tidak ada yang berbeda dengan yang sekarang.
Hanya pedih yang membedakan.
Kita masih bernafas bersama, detak jantung kita masih berdenyut bersama.
Karena sesuatu yang tidak bisa hilang begitu saja.

Bahagiamu adalah kebahagiaanku.
Banggamu adalah kebanggaanku.
Ketika matamu melihat, mataku juga melihat.
Dan ketika kamu menoleh, kita saling menatap.

Kita pernah jadi satu.
Kita pernah ditampar oleh waktu, oleh kenyataan.
Kita menangis, kita tertawa.
Kita berusaha, hingga kita lelah.

Kelemahan kita sama, aku dan kamu.
Lihat, lebih dekat, dan rasakan.
Kita hancur.
Kita sedang berbohong.

Kita sedang memaksakan diri hingga beban yang kita paksa menjadi semakin berat.
Semakin menyakitkan.
Buatlah indah.

Batinku dan batinmu berteriak kata-kata yang sama.
Kita sama, sangat sama.
Hanya keadaan yang membedakan.
Tapi bukan keadaan yang menentukan.

Keyakinanku bicara.
Bahwa suatu saat nanti, entah kapan
Aku dan kamu,
Akan jadi satu.