Thursday, March 5, 2015


Those days are gone.
I wish I could rewind.
I wish I could make things better.
I wish I were there.

And now, my brothers are all gone.
I miss their laughter,
I miss their smiles.
Why did you guys do this to me?

I remember when I locked up myself in your room,
Because your little brother rambled aimlessly.
And you knocked the door and told me that it was you.
I opened the door and you brought me a double cheeseburger with fries.

Another story, when we were on the road together.
I was hungry and I couldn't take it.
Then you stopped at McDonald's and told me that I can have everything I want.
So we bought a lot of food, like, lot of fries, burgers, and five ice creams.

Memories, it hurts.
I love you, so much.
But death did us apart.
And now I'm walking alone. 

God, why did you take them away from me?

Monday, March 2, 2015

What Are You Thinking? How Are You Feeling? What Have We Done To Each Other? What Will We Do?

Dear Mr. Gregory,

If you keep asking, "What's going on?",
I suggest you to shut up.
You already knew what's going on,
But you didn't ask.

Second, if you keep asking, "What's wrong with you?",
You are one of my problems.
And yes, you already knew what's wrong with me.
You suck at that.

Third, if you keep asking, "What happened?",
Fuck you.
It's too late to ask.
Where the hell were you?

Fourth, if you ask, "So, what is the point of me in your life?",
Fuck you and your brain.
You only do what you want to do.
And the point is, you don't even pay attention.

Fifth, if you say, "I tried my best but what I did is always wrong in your eyes",
Did we ever discuss about what we did to another?
Did it suit us well?
You just stood there and watched.

Sixth, if you say, "I'm sorry about what happened. I love you",
Fuck with it.
You let me down,
And maybe I don't believe in 'L' word right now.

Seventh, if you ask, "Now, what do you want?"
I want to have a deep sleep.
If you think you can handle my and still want to go for it,
Go ahead, suit yourself.

Eighth, if you ask, "What if I can't?"
Well, I guess it's a perfect time for you to leave.
I don't need someone who cannot understand my feeling.
I don't need a Prince Charming, but I need a knight.

Ninth, if you ask, "What do you want most?",
I want you to look into my eyes deeply,
And tell me what do you see.
Save me.

Last, if you ask, "Do you love me?"
I love you and it's more than 'I love you'.
But, can we come together equally?
It depends on you.

They Want Me Dead.

I'm tired.
Literally tired.
I keep getting a lot of pressure,
And no one could help.

I woke up at 7 AM,
Go to work,
And sometimes, I ended up in the next morning.

I work really hard.
I've been handling another things at work too.
And it's fucking ridiculous.
This place is hell.

I've been facing a lot of things too at home.
One loves to yell, other is unreliable.
I can't even have a proper rest here.
This place is a mess.

I can't handle the pressure.
They just fuck me right on my face.
No one could help.
Or maybe, no one cares.

Oh, and my loved one doesn't understand, I guess.
He didn't pay attention.
He didn't ask what's going on.
Back to his nature, well, he's that kind of person.

And another pressure is checking in.
They say I should go on to the next level.
Yes, marriage.
Yes, fuck with that.

Back in the days,
I really want to get married when I was twenty something.
But now, maybe it's just a joke.
How can you get married if your loved one has no interest in it and feel rush about it?

I'm tired.
This place is hell.
My life is a mess.
And my loved ones don't understand.

I need to go on by myself.
I won't ask them to understand or feel the pressure inside me.
But I want them to see,
What kind of animal I have become if I give up.

I don't need help.
I don't need your arms.
I don't need your tears.
All I need is life, and air to breathe.