When My Idealism Gets High.

You knocked my door and ran away.

You pushed me to move out.

But you pulled me closer.

What happened to us?

It was me all along.

My idealism slapped my face.

No,

My idealism has been attacking me until today.

How could I lose it for myself?

For us?

The only way to do it is to love you with what you have.

For what you are.

But I want it this way, not that way.

But I know if I force myself to walk my life in a perfect life,

I won't get what I want.

So I have to let you in and let myself learn a bunch of things from you.

But I am scared.

Scared of what will happen next.

Scared of welcoming new people.

I am scared of lonely.

I have been hurt twice last year.

The condition makes me afraid to move forward.

I am afraid to love, to be loved, to wish and to be wished for.

But I won't let it happen again for myself.

I hope I will find someone,

Who understands me so well without asking,

Who realizes what I need without saying,

Who serves me what I deserve.

When the clock ticks my life away,

That means I am ready for what I will receive.

And if it was you, the one that God has been planning for,

Then I promise you and myself that I will take a good care of you for the rest of my life.