Thursday, April 18, 2013


I had and I lost.
I owned and I lied.
I ran and I fell.
I loved and I let go.

I knew you came.
I knew that you didn't want to see me.
I knew that you wanted to do your things.
So I let you.

I won't write a long words here.
Hey, I miss you.

Monday, April 8, 2013


She wasn't exactly sure when it happened nor when it started.
All she knew was that right here and now.
She was falling hard,
And she could only pray that he was feeling the same way.

But time told her something.
Something that hurt her,
Something that she didn't want to see and hear.
He wasn't for her to be exact.

He broke her heart in the right way.
He figured out that she fell in love with him,
And he tried to make her stop by hurt her that way.
He succeeded.

She knew that she cannot separate the good from the bad.
She knew that there is no need to do so either.
She knew that without the mask, where will she hide?
She knew that she will always fall in love and it will always be like having her throat cut, just that fast.

And she knew that her path won't cross with his.
And she knew that to fall in love with a man whose future can't include her is a big mistake.
How can she acts like she never loved him?
She fell down so hard and his absence has been making her heart grow fonder.

She has been through a lot of happy moments and have suffered a great deal.
Every moment is different from the other. 
The good, the bad, the joy, the tragedy, love, sadness and happiness,
Those are called life.

She wants to go far away from there.
Because her experience made her completely alive.
Because it was only last a moment, and hour, an afternoon, a week.
Because she is left with memories that she will treasure it for the rest of her life.

What is meant to be will always find a way, she knows that.
To say how much she loves is to love but a little.
And love can come to everyone, everywhere, everytime.
And it is forever, never apart, maybe in distance, but never in heart.

He came to her life,
And left footprints on her heart.
She knows that she will lose by holding back.
And now she is waiting for the day when she looks at him,

And she feels absolutely nothing.

Thursday, April 4, 2013

I Miss You Just A Little Too Much.

Can you feel it?
The space I gave between us?
Can you see it?
The distance that grows each day between us?

I want you to comeback,
As a stranger.
Because if I win my ego over this,
I want you to comeback as my man.

So, don't comeback.
Still, I don't know what am I doing.
I don't know am I right or not.
And I don't want to know.

My feeling grows.
I want to turn around.
But I know we had it all and it ended already.
We let it all crashed down.

And I know,
That you don't have that feeling of losing someone.
You don't want to think too much about this.
You don't feel what I feel, never.

Maybe I was just a victim of your experiment.
Maybe I walked too far that day.
Maybe I am no different from them.
Maybe you were right to gave up on me.

We are not one, I know.
Maybe in the end, I could be right.
And my prayer goes to you and your life.
And yes, I miss you just a little too much.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

You Are Not That Individualist.

He has been doing good.
He has been doing very good.
What he needs and what he wants.
All in one.

You have been pushing yourself too much.
Your body's screaming, asking you to stop hurting yourself that way.
And now, it's time for you to take a deep rest.
Take a deep breath, open your eyes.

You told me you were confuse.
You asked me what should you do.
Then you tell me that now you know and you understand.
You say thank you and you realize.

Don't say thanks.
You're the one who solved your own problems.
You're the one who finds what you and your body need.
I only watch you from a distance.

Even though I only stayed for a moment,
I am happy for what you've done to yourself.
I am happy that you are different and you will find what you want.
These happy tears I cried won't be in vain.

Congratulations, Raindy Suhendra. I am very proud to help you out.

Monday, April 1, 2013

The Knight of Neverland.

I was walking alone that day,
When I saw someone.
I don't even know his name.
But I can't resist my eyes to see.

He was happy,
With a bunch of pressures live inside his soul.
He knows how to conquer his fear.
He knows how to protect himself.

I don't understand how people live their lives.
How they believe, how they think.
Their reactions, their visions.
Those are good for me to learn how life goes on.

I remember, a close friend of mine said this to me,
"Your faith has got to be greater than your fear".
It was Julian Casablancas's song,
And he tattooed those words on his chest to remind himself.

He was right.
He proved it to himself by tattooed it on his chest.
He was ready.
He moved on from his dark life to a better one.

My friend here has the most free-spirited soul I have ever seen.
He lied for good and he let me know his past.
He went out good, he went crazy.
And I just loved the way he moved forward.

Funny, I am smiling so wide right now.
I'm feeling good.
I won't let myself down.
I will let go what's weighs me down.

I won't hate March.
I am grateful.
I'll keep on learning.
Because I am the knight, of Neverland.