Here I am, sitting on my bed,
My face looks terrible, like I just saw a dead body under my bed.
I've been thinking about something that I shouldn't be thinking about.
A thought, that leads me to a dream.
I saw you.
My favorite boy was there, sitting on the couch.
And I saw myself,
Standing in front of him, crying.
It's like I was trying to convince you about something.
It's like, I was begging, like a child,
I was begging you to not to leave,
But you won't listen and you shook your head.
I know,
That moment will come.
And I don't like that part.
I don't want that part in my story.
What if, one day, you refuse to love anything?
What if, one day, you stop catching me when I fall?
What if, one day, you let me go and you're not regret it?
What if it happens? What should I do?
Do you know,
That moment when you can actually feel the pain in your chest,
From hearing something or seeing something that breaks your heart?
I'm feeling it while I'm writing this down.
There will come a time,
When he stops fighting for you,
When he stops asking where the hell are you,
When he wants to go far away from you,
When he wants to have your throat cut,
When you beg him to not to go but he insists that he has to,
When you say you love him and he doesn't want to love you back,
When he sees you like you're just somebody he used to know,
When he looks at you and feels absolutely nothing.
Please,
Tell me that this is unreal.
Tell me that I was having a bad dream.
Convince me, that you're not going to leave me.
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